As of today I am officially cleared by the Doc to be a normal human being again post C-section. Dr. N was about as friendly at this appointment as he was during my entire pregnancy.
I was hoping for a summary of our relationship thus far. Maybe a quick recap of what happened during my quasi-emergency C-section. A check-in about how it felt to be sprawled out on an operating table at 3 am and cut open. Maybe a nice "How are you feeling?" instead of walking in the room and muttering "Feeling good? Ok, good!" before I could squeak out a response. But alas, it was a one night stand. And he was not going to give me any explanation or assessment, nothing to soothe my feelings, not even an apology for cutting me crooked. Seriously Doc? Not even a Post-Partum Depression assessment? I'm going to write a letter to the National Association of Social Workers because you are a SLACKER.
My favorite part of the appointment? Well it's a tie:
1. He's putting me on a new low dose pill. So after 6 weeks of hardcore recovery and feeling generally fucked up from being cut open and having a 6 lb 2 oz baby pulled out, and then trial-by-fire parenting that child and loving every minute of it but knowing that it was by the grace of god that Sean and I were surviving this that I was understandably a little freaked about taking a pill with LESS shit in it. So I was compelled to ask him "Won't it be easier to get pregnant on that pill then???!!" Could he not sense the FEAR in my voice? Instead, he looks me straight in the eye and deadpans "Yes. You're going to get pregnant on this pill." And then he gives me the look that says "DUMBASS".
2. On the way OUT the door, he looks briefly in the stroller and gives Max a quick "What's up" wave.
Peace out Dr. N. I'll be calling to request that my records are sent to my new doctor soon. And SHE will shake her head and cluck her tongue at you when she sees my unique little scar. And then she'll ask me how I feel about it.
Oh wait....the good part? The whole reason behind this post? I'm supposed to be good as new from now on!!!! Except I can't do sit-ups for a while. Damn it. I was rockin' on the ab roller for years! What will I do if I can't knock out 100 sit-ups every night and every morning?????
I'd write more, but I'm headed to the GYM.....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Rock A Bye Baby
Another afternoon at Day One Center means more baby info rattling around in my brain....
Today Max and I went to the "Let's Talk About Sleep" class. Yes. Let's.
It was led by a Baby Whisperer Expert, who we will refer to as BWE. BWE has turned her sleep skills into a full-time business, and she is now a sleep consultant. For babies. BWE has lots of swanky clients in lots of swanky places, who she constantly referred to in her lecture. I now know that she works primarily in places like the Oakland Hills, Walnut Creek, and Danville. Do you know how else I know? Because she made sure to include "nannies and other caregivers" when she talked about caring for your newborn. I fully admit that I got perverse pleasure out of her reminding us that the swankified socialite mamas also have babies who never sleep and spit up on them too. BWE also liked to talk about mamas who bottle feed. She had lots to say about monitoring how much your baby was eating each day, and seemed to feel that the primary method of feeding your baby was of course to use formula. Perhaps most of her clients don't want to ruin their perfect boob jobs. That's why I'M not nursing. Again, sheer delight at the ruffled feathers on the nursing moms in the class, who were huffing and puffing about how on earth they would feed their babies on a schedule and how in hell would they ever know how much their baby was getting at a time. Her response to them? Rent a calibrated scale and weigh your baby before and after each feeding, for a full 24 hours. Well, the SHOCK and utter inconvenience of having to do such a thing REALLY pissed them off. The deep sighs that followed about how much easier formula would be because THOSE MOMS can at least read the side of the bottle to see how many ounces Jr. got were tempered with whispers about how they couldn't WAIT until Breastfeeding Support Group when they could tell the lactation consultant about BWE and her ridiculous rules. Hah! Now you know how I feel after spending a couple hundred dollars on a breastpump, herbal supplements, heated boob pads and a pricey pumping bra ladies!
Hah! Hah! Take that La Leche League...finally a class that isn't biased towards breastfeeding moms! Let's not be appalled that not everyone nurses.
Now people, before you continue the phrase that starts with "Wow, Kim is SUCH A..." let me remind you that I wanted to nurse (tried to nurse, started to nurse, worked very hard to nurse) for a very long time (blog posting to follow, and it's a humdinger of a post). I love moms who nurse their babies. I'm impressed by the "pull the boob out in the middle of the grocery store and nurse your hungry kid in the deli aisle" moms. But what really pisses me off, is when those ladies ask complete strangers if they are nursing too. Yes you, lady in Pottery Barn 2 weeks ago. Because then I have to not only say no, but I feel compelled to launch in to the whole story about how Max had low blood sugar in the hospital, I had to supplement with formula, no one told me to pump, drugged up from C-section, bad advice from one lactation consultant, never produced more than 1-2 oz at a time even though I pumped the hell out myself with a pricey machine for FOUR STRAIGHT WEEKS while still taking time to bottle feed AND nurse and generally care for my screaming baby who was (at that time) only sleeping for one hour at a time. God forbid they should think that I had chosen not to do the most natural, womanly thing in the world for selfish reasons. Like a pricey boob job.
Except now I'm going to tell people exactly that. "Nope, not nursing. I wanted to continue modeling for Playboy". Just to see their reaction.
BUT I DIGRESS.
BWE started the class by mentioning that for those of us there with babies under 12 weeks old, this information was just for us to observe. Apparently, Max is too little to implement any of these techniques for a while. In other words, BWE gave him permission to sleep (or not sleep), eat whenever he wants, and have a schedule that changes every day.....BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BABIES 0-3 MONTHS DO. Thank you BWE! So I'm not a horrible mother because sometimes I cuddle him in bed in the morning so that he stays calm and I can close my eyes for 30 more minutes? Or because sometimes in the afternoon he won't even close his eyes unless he's in my arms walking laps around the second floor? Apparently that's NORMAL. Oh, and the bouncing on the exercise ball while holding him until he falls asleep...turns out I did not make that up myself. Many mommies are bouncing away. Or as BWE said "My clients who use the exercise balls to bounce their babies have the flattest tummies!". No BWE, that's just a great plastic surgeon.
Someday soon Max will be out of the freebie zone though, and here are some really helpful things that we learned today:
1. Nursery Setting. Temp should be 65-68 degrees. This helps to prevent SIDS. I had read 68-72. Either way, with our crazy A/C, that is going to be COLD. Not sure how this will work, but I can't imagine that it could be worse then the steady 75 degrees that it's been since we decided we didn't want to pay a high electric bill.
White Noise. (Check! Thanks to Patty and Jim, the Sleep Sheep works wonders!) Calming colors in Max's room (just moved in, haven't painted yet, but I will nix the tie-dye wall idea). And complete darkness.
2. After 12 weeks, babies should have a STATIONARY place to sleep. That means something that doesn't move or take batteries to operate. (Either that, or I spelled it wrong and it means notecards and envelopes). No swing? No vibrating bouncy seat? SHIT. And we're only supposed to have him sleep in one place. Or maybe two, if he sleeps in the same place for a nap every day, and then one other place at night. Which means that we should probably work towards breaking the habit of naps and bedtime being in the swing/co-sleeper/vibrating bouncy chair/our bed/crib/other vibrating bouncy chair/moby wrap/car seat/pack and play.....you get the idea?
3. Babies 3-6 months should get 15+ hours of sleep a day. 10-12 at night and 5 from daily naps. Babies should go to bed between 6 and 8 pm, and will then sleep (eventually) for 12 hours. If you keep them up later, they will not sleep later. Sleep begets sleep.
SIDE NOTE: My baby is not in this age range yet. Which means that it's really fun to talk about how all of this is going to work, because we're not THERE YET. So for all of you moms who are reading this and saying "Uh-huh. Yeah right! Whatever!", I will say to you "let me live in my fantasy world for JUST a little longer".
4. Babies should eat 2-2.5 oz for every pound they weigh to equal a total daily intake, not to exceed 32 ounces. (This was where the breastfeeding moms started to get squealy). We'll start counting. Update: I counted. Max weighs 10 pounds now. So he should be getting about 25 oz a day. In the last 24 hours, he had 30.5. Minus a few random ounces that he spit up on me. Oops. Now what?
5. Sleep cues. We need to pay attention to these so that we can pre-empt nap time with "sleepy rituals". Like a "lovey" blanket. Songs. Baby massage. Bath time. Books.
And that is where I left off writing this post last night.....and then went to bed....where my new "4 hours/wake for 40 minutes/3 hours" little boy surprised us with an "every two hour" night again. Oh well....BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD......siiiiiiiigggghhhh.
Today Max and I went to the "Let's Talk About Sleep" class. Yes. Let's.
It was led by a Baby Whisperer Expert, who we will refer to as BWE. BWE has turned her sleep skills into a full-time business, and she is now a sleep consultant. For babies. BWE has lots of swanky clients in lots of swanky places, who she constantly referred to in her lecture. I now know that she works primarily in places like the Oakland Hills, Walnut Creek, and Danville. Do you know how else I know? Because she made sure to include "nannies and other caregivers" when she talked about caring for your newborn. I fully admit that I got perverse pleasure out of her reminding us that the swankified socialite mamas also have babies who never sleep and spit up on them too. BWE also liked to talk about mamas who bottle feed. She had lots to say about monitoring how much your baby was eating each day, and seemed to feel that the primary method of feeding your baby was of course to use formula. Perhaps most of her clients don't want to ruin their perfect boob jobs. That's why I'M not nursing. Again, sheer delight at the ruffled feathers on the nursing moms in the class, who were huffing and puffing about how on earth they would feed their babies on a schedule and how in hell would they ever know how much their baby was getting at a time. Her response to them? Rent a calibrated scale and weigh your baby before and after each feeding, for a full 24 hours. Well, the SHOCK and utter inconvenience of having to do such a thing REALLY pissed them off. The deep sighs that followed about how much easier formula would be because THOSE MOMS can at least read the side of the bottle to see how many ounces Jr. got were tempered with whispers about how they couldn't WAIT until Breastfeeding Support Group when they could tell the lactation consultant about BWE and her ridiculous rules. Hah! Now you know how I feel after spending a couple hundred dollars on a breastpump, herbal supplements, heated boob pads and a pricey pumping bra ladies!
Hah! Hah! Take that La Leche League...finally a class that isn't biased towards breastfeeding moms! Let's not be appalled that not everyone nurses.
Now people, before you continue the phrase that starts with "Wow, Kim is SUCH A..." let me remind you that I wanted to nurse (tried to nurse, started to nurse, worked very hard to nurse) for a very long time (blog posting to follow, and it's a humdinger of a post). I love moms who nurse their babies. I'm impressed by the "pull the boob out in the middle of the grocery store and nurse your hungry kid in the deli aisle" moms. But what really pisses me off, is when those ladies ask complete strangers if they are nursing too. Yes you, lady in Pottery Barn 2 weeks ago. Because then I have to not only say no, but I feel compelled to launch in to the whole story about how Max had low blood sugar in the hospital, I had to supplement with formula, no one told me to pump, drugged up from C-section, bad advice from one lactation consultant, never produced more than 1-2 oz at a time even though I pumped the hell out myself with a pricey machine for FOUR STRAIGHT WEEKS while still taking time to bottle feed AND nurse and generally care for my screaming baby who was (at that time) only sleeping for one hour at a time. God forbid they should think that I had chosen not to do the most natural, womanly thing in the world for selfish reasons. Like a pricey boob job.
Except now I'm going to tell people exactly that. "Nope, not nursing. I wanted to continue modeling for Playboy". Just to see their reaction.
BUT I DIGRESS.
BWE started the class by mentioning that for those of us there with babies under 12 weeks old, this information was just for us to observe. Apparently, Max is too little to implement any of these techniques for a while. In other words, BWE gave him permission to sleep (or not sleep), eat whenever he wants, and have a schedule that changes every day.....BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BABIES 0-3 MONTHS DO. Thank you BWE! So I'm not a horrible mother because sometimes I cuddle him in bed in the morning so that he stays calm and I can close my eyes for 30 more minutes? Or because sometimes in the afternoon he won't even close his eyes unless he's in my arms walking laps around the second floor? Apparently that's NORMAL. Oh, and the bouncing on the exercise ball while holding him until he falls asleep...turns out I did not make that up myself. Many mommies are bouncing away. Or as BWE said "My clients who use the exercise balls to bounce their babies have the flattest tummies!". No BWE, that's just a great plastic surgeon.
Someday soon Max will be out of the freebie zone though, and here are some really helpful things that we learned today:
1. Nursery Setting. Temp should be 65-68 degrees. This helps to prevent SIDS. I had read 68-72. Either way, with our crazy A/C, that is going to be COLD. Not sure how this will work, but I can't imagine that it could be worse then the steady 75 degrees that it's been since we decided we didn't want to pay a high electric bill.
White Noise. (Check! Thanks to Patty and Jim, the Sleep Sheep works wonders!) Calming colors in Max's room (just moved in, haven't painted yet, but I will nix the tie-dye wall idea). And complete darkness.
2. After 12 weeks, babies should have a STATIONARY place to sleep. That means something that doesn't move or take batteries to operate. (Either that, or I spelled it wrong and it means notecards and envelopes). No swing? No vibrating bouncy seat? SHIT. And we're only supposed to have him sleep in one place. Or maybe two, if he sleeps in the same place for a nap every day, and then one other place at night. Which means that we should probably work towards breaking the habit of naps and bedtime being in the swing/co-sleeper/vibrating bouncy chair/our bed/crib/other vibrating bouncy chair/moby wrap/car seat/pack and play.....you get the idea?
3. Babies 3-6 months should get 15+ hours of sleep a day. 10-12 at night and 5 from daily naps. Babies should go to bed between 6 and 8 pm, and will then sleep (eventually) for 12 hours. If you keep them up later, they will not sleep later. Sleep begets sleep.
SIDE NOTE: My baby is not in this age range yet. Which means that it's really fun to talk about how all of this is going to work, because we're not THERE YET. So for all of you moms who are reading this and saying "Uh-huh. Yeah right! Whatever!", I will say to you "let me live in my fantasy world for JUST a little longer".
4. Babies should eat 2-2.5 oz for every pound they weigh to equal a total daily intake, not to exceed 32 ounces. (This was where the breastfeeding moms started to get squealy). We'll start counting. Update: I counted. Max weighs 10 pounds now. So he should be getting about 25 oz a day. In the last 24 hours, he had 30.5. Minus a few random ounces that he spit up on me. Oops. Now what?
5. Sleep cues. We need to pay attention to these so that we can pre-empt nap time with "sleepy rituals". Like a "lovey" blanket. Songs. Baby massage. Bath time. Books.
And that is where I left off writing this post last night.....and then went to bed....where my new "4 hours/wake for 40 minutes/3 hours" little boy surprised us with an "every two hour" night again. Oh well....BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD......siiiiiiiigggghhhh.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Yeah!
I think that we have the only one month old in the world who is talking already.
OK, so he isn't really talking, but he's making some noises that sure sound like words to us!
Tonight, Sean asked him if he wanted a bottle and he responded:
"Yeah"
Now this wasn't just a normal "Yeah", this was a full-on JERSEY dialect "Yeah"! It was hysterical! And later when Sean was burping him and asked if he wanted more bottle, Max responded "Yeah"!
Over-achiever this kid, let me tell you.
OK, so he isn't really talking, but he's making some noises that sure sound like words to us!
Tonight, Sean asked him if he wanted a bottle and he responded:
"Yeah"
Now this wasn't just a normal "Yeah", this was a full-on JERSEY dialect "Yeah"! It was hysterical! And later when Sean was burping him and asked if he wanted more bottle, Max responded "Yeah"!
Over-achiever this kid, let me tell you.
Nathan Is Nearly Here!
The baby brigade continues to grow, and today we were thrilled to be celebrating Kerrin and Alex as they get ready to welcome baby Nathaniel in August!
Kerrin, Kerry and Jenny are dear friends who I met when I worked at the adoption agency in the East Bay. They are truly my lifeline, and their "mommy wisdom" is priceless! We've gone from laughing our asses off in eachother's offices to celebrating birthdays, weddings, and babies together. They are such a blessing in my life, and I always feel so much better after we spend time together!
The shower was at Kerry and Mike's GORGEOUS new home, and it was the perfect day to be out in the sunshine honoring the mom and dad-to-be.
Max was excited to meet Caleb (and hopes to meet Heidi soon!). Caleb has some pretty cool big boy toys in his backyard, so Max will definitely be back to eat some dirt from the sandbox, drive the tractor, and play at the train table as soon as he can! He loved the warm summer weather, sat on my lap and made baby noises, watched Kerrin open her presents, and spent some time hangin' with Daddy and the boys. And then he passed out....
Everything I needed to know about being pregnant I've learned from Kerry and Jenny......so I've been really looking forward to showing off our little finished product to them! Here is one of the first shots of Max with "the girls"!
Nathan, we can't wait to meet you! We adore your mom and dad, and know that they will be fantastic parents! We're so glad you're almost here! Max is ready to pass the baby torch on to you, and we're thrilled to welcome the newest little member of our group.
Kerrin, Kerry and Jenny are dear friends who I met when I worked at the adoption agency in the East Bay. They are truly my lifeline, and their "mommy wisdom" is priceless! We've gone from laughing our asses off in eachother's offices to celebrating birthdays, weddings, and babies together. They are such a blessing in my life, and I always feel so much better after we spend time together!
The shower was at Kerry and Mike's GORGEOUS new home, and it was the perfect day to be out in the sunshine honoring the mom and dad-to-be.
Max was excited to meet Caleb (and hopes to meet Heidi soon!). Caleb has some pretty cool big boy toys in his backyard, so Max will definitely be back to eat some dirt from the sandbox, drive the tractor, and play at the train table as soon as he can! He loved the warm summer weather, sat on my lap and made baby noises, watched Kerrin open her presents, and spent some time hangin' with Daddy and the boys. And then he passed out....
Everything I needed to know about being pregnant I've learned from Kerry and Jenny......so I've been really looking forward to showing off our little finished product to them! Here is one of the first shots of Max with "the girls"!
Nathan, we can't wait to meet you! We adore your mom and dad, and know that they will be fantastic parents! We're so glad you're almost here! Max is ready to pass the baby torch on to you, and we're thrilled to welcome the newest little member of our group.Thanks for a great afternoon ladies!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wardrobe Malfunction
In true Silverstein-Simon fashion, Max has found that it's hard to find clothes that fit his body type perfectly. His newborn size pants still fit his waist, but they're so short now that they look like shorts. Long shorts. Circa 1989.
So Mommy dressed him in a new pair of pants, size 0-3 months, and bundled him up to go out one night. When we got home and Daddy took Max's jacket off, I could hear him laughing from the other room.....
So Mommy dressed him in a new pair of pants, size 0-3 months, and bundled him up to go out one night. When we got home and Daddy took Max's jacket off, I could hear him laughing from the other room.....
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