An honest look at the love, laughter, and complete chaos that comes with raising a very active, adorably curious toddler.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Tuesday Confessions
2. Max is boycotting any food that does not look exactly like a scrambled egg, hummus, beans/cheese/rice, or Halloween candy. This is entirely my fault. Because I keep giving him those things.
3. As maddening as Max's bedtime routine is, I secretly love it. Well, at least the parts where he snuggles up close. And the parts where he talks on and on in the dark. "Ma, I loove you" " I need my shirt! I need my socks! I need shoes for my BEET!" "wheels on the bus go round and round!!" and well, you get the picture.
4. Daylight Savings Time can have its hour back. No thanks, our family can't actually use that extra hour. Well, Max can't.
5. This child MELTS me. Even at 6 am.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Scrambled Eggs, With A Side of Anti-Semitism
We've eaten there before. It's fast, fairly decent, and the model airplanes covering the walls and ceiling keep a curious toddler entertained while he's waiting for his breakfast.
What we hadn't noticed until today, were the two WWII model airplanes. The Nazi Germany airplanes. The ones with swastikas on their tails.
As Max stuffed hashbrowns into his face, Sean and I debated how appropriate it was to have swastikas smiling (frowning?) down on us while we drank our coffee. The planes are part of history. I get it. But we're in a diner, not the Natural History Museum. This is clearly someone's private collection of planes, and whoever owns them, doesn't seem to mind that a few are adorned with a symbol that represents the slaughter of millions of Jews. Millions of our people.
It was one of those teachable moments, I suppose. Say nothing, silently fume, and feel stupid for over-reacting. Or nicely, gently ask the manager if he's noticed the planes, and explain why we were offended. Being parents, being Coastside locals, and being overly aware of our minority status, we decided to ask about the planes.
The manager's reply was nothing less than flippant. He felt that we were over-reacting. He blew us off.
I mentioned that in the eyes of many Jews, the swastika is a symbol of hate and persecution. It stands for death, torture, genocide. He laughed at us. "It's just a plane" he said. "Take it as a reminder that war is a bad thing....and that we won...at least we won."
I asked him if he would have something in his restaurant with the "N word" on it. Just because that's "part of history", doesn't make displaying it acceptable.
As the manager excused himself from the conversation, Sean and I wondered outloud if they would display a Confederate flag in the restaurant. Of course not. It might just be "a symbol", but it's a symbol of a terrible time in American History. It doesn't really go with bacon and eggs.
Sean walked Max out to the car, and I walked over to use the restroom. On the way back through the restaurant, I approached our table where the manager was talking to the waitress. But he didn't see me coming.
"Did you see THAT GUY who was sitting here?" he laughed to the waitress. "He was giving me a ration of shit about the swastikas!!" He smirked.
It was funny to them.
6 million people isn't funny.
6 million lives snuffed out, 6 million dreams, 6 million people who were all somebody's child. The symbol of their destruction, the symbol that seperated who would live and who would die, was now chillin' above our heads like it was NO BIG DEAL to anyone else in this crappy diner by the airport.
In our house, we are not perfect Jews. But we try to live by Jewish principles, and we do the best that we can. We do it for Max, because we want him to know what it means to be Jewish. What it means to have a Jewish family, and Jewish values. But we also do it for the 6 million people who weren't allowed to light Shabbat candles on the first rainy November night. We do it for the millions of children who never got the chance to sing the blessing over the challah with their own children. We do it for them, and we do it for Max, and we do it because that is what the Jews before us did, and what we hope the Jews after us will do.
And even if you think that we over-reacted in that diner, I'm proud of us that we spoke up in front of Max. I'm glad that he heard us questioning. I'm glad that he saw us telling someone when something wasn't OK. Judaism teaches us that we take care of others, and maybe a little bit of that happened today. We send Max to a Jewish preschool because we want him to learn all of the wonderful things about Judaism, but it's also in part so that he doesn't grow up feeling like "the only one" who is Jewish. We want Shabbat, and Chanukah, and Passover, and the philosophy of Tikkun Olam to be "normal" for him. We want him to embrace how lucky he is to be Jewish. We want him to know that other kids have a Baubee, and that other kids have menorahs instead of Christmas trees. But along with those wonderful things comes great responsibility. The responsibility to speak up when you see something that hurts other people, even if most of your friends on Facebook think that you're silly for being offended. The responsibility to proudly carry on Jewish traditions, and sing songs in Hebrew, and stand proud that we are sometimes the only voice in the stupid diner that cares about those two airplanes.
At the end of the day, we light our candles on Shabbat like all of the other Jewish families in the world. And for the 6 million who can't. That my friends, is more important than what happens in a diner. A diner that we will not be returning to.
OK, so the Shabbas candles are a little hard to see in this picture....look closely...see them now? And yes, that would be challah (already properly blessed) that Max is diving into.
Anchored
Two-year old "pirate faces"......
That's an "arrgh Matey!", if you can't tell from the picture. And that's a "too cool for school" Daddy in the background, in case you were wondering where Max gets his swagger from.We've had some lazy, cozy, go out for breakfast and take a long walk with your coffee afterwards kind of weekends. And I adore them. It's this kind of family time that keeps me anchored.
Lazy weekends have a whole different meaning now that Max is old enough to really participate. My little boy is suddenly BIG. The other night as we were having our long, drawn-out bedtime process, he told me "No YOU go night-night Ma, I GO TRICK OR TREAT". He likes to tell me how to drive: "Turn 'round Ma! Go that way!" and likes to choose his own shoes, and shirt, and "I need my COAT!"Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Happy HA-WEEEEEN!
Yes, that's our garage door. And yes, that is his costume on the ground. We began the evening to the sound of "NO boots! NO jacket! NO HAT!" Then, he calmly picked up his candy bucket, pleasantly announced "Trick Treat!?", and tried to walk out the door to the garage.Fortunately, he started to understand the tradition of it all by the time we forced him outside.
Our favorite Bayside Neighbors joined us for the second year in a row, and Max and Will quickly got the hang of walking up to a stranger's door and taking candy from them. This is a lovely little ritual that we teach our children, isn't it? Nothing safer than encouraging kids to go to someone's house and accept treats. 

Friday, October 28, 2011
My Best

For our family, the decision to try for a second child has not been easy. Long talks, tears, arguments, anxiety, fear. In our house, the unknown journey has been almost paralyzing. So much so that I hesitated to even link up with Kelly's Blog today. I mean, what do I want to SHARE about why we only have one child. Who, by the way is AMAZING. And blesses us with a ridiculous amount of joy every day. Sharing would mean admitting to things that I'm not proud of. Like jealousy. Why is it so easy for other families to adapt to their new normal? How come other people just go off and get pregnant without over-analyzing it to death? Why do other families have the support that they need? How do other moms cope when sometimes I can't? How come most kids sleep 12 hours at night and take regular naps?
Things like fear. Worrying that another child will have the same health issues that Max does. Worried that I won't be able to breastfeed again. Worried that something will go wrong. Worried that the stress of experiencing that first year again will cause irrepairable damage to my marriage. Worried that Max will be sad that some of my attention would be going to a new baby, when it's just been he and I against the world, for 2 and a half years.
In my mind, no one understands this but me. No one gets what it's like to love a child so fiercely, and yet sometimes feel drained so completely. I want Max to have a sibling. He is so sweet and loving to every baby we know. I want him to have a partner in life, someone to walk next to on the first day of school. Someone to watch cartoons with on a Saturday morning. Someone to build legos with and splash next to in the pool. I want there to be another teenager to drive to the high school dance with. I want another adult to sit by his side when Sean and I are old and sick.
I want to give him a best friend.
And of course, I want to love another little human being in all of the ways that I love Max. I want to be pregnant, and dream, and hope, and wonder. I want to mother, and love, and teach. Max is so dynamic and sweet and spirited. I want him to experience loving another child too. Even with all of the twists and turn our journey has taken, I want to experience it again.
But for now? Not quite yet. We haven't reached a consensus yet.
Max is my one and only. And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. To our family.Thursday, October 27, 2011
I'll Have Mine With Extra Hot Fudge Please!
This bowl doesn't look too big for me, does it?
Now picture this...my Mommy used to hang out here when she was little. Mr. Frostie's is one of the last "old school" things about Mommy's hometown. So I figured, why not try it out?
I think I like it when Mommy makes us take a walk down memory lane! It tastes delicious!


























