Don't Laugh At Us

I have reached the pinnacle of Mommy Blogging authenticity.  I am writing a post about my child's poop.  Consider yourself warned.

I decided to revisit my Parent's Guide To Potty-Training book this past weekend.  You know, the one with the checklist to help you decide if your toddler is ready to start "potty learning", "potty teaching", and all of those other fancy names that make bodily functions sound a little less gross?  Last time I went over the checklist, I couldn't check anything off.  (Huge sigh!  Thank goodness!)  This time?  "Uhhhh, Sean?  He does ALL of these things.  Tells you when he's going to go in his diaper?  Yes.  Sits on play potty and pretends to go?  Yes.  Takes his own clothes off?  All the time.  Wants to watch other people go potty?  Yep.  Has language for body parts and bathroom tasks?  Uh-huh."  GREAT.

So we started having Max sit on the potty.  He'd sit, stand up, put his foot in the hole of the potty chair.  He'd run pants-less around the bathroom, open and shut the door, throw endless squares of toilet paper in, and pretend to flush.  It was entertaining, but not even close to an actual "potty attempt", if you ask me.

Until this morning.

Max was standing by the coffee table after breakfast, and started to take his pants off.  Like he does every morning.  Except this time Sean said to him "If you're taking your pants off, maybe you need to go potty", and walked him in to the bathroom.  I could hear them both through the door....Sean telling him to sit back down, asking him about preschool, making conversation while Max sat there.  And then all of a sudden Sean yelled "Ummmmmm....can you come in here?"

I opened the door.  "He just POOPED in the potty?!  What do we do now????"

PAUSE.  LONG PAUSE.  What DO we do now?!!!!

"We say YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled back!  "Hooray Max!!!!  Wow....you just went in the potty!!!"

And then we started laughing.

How do you wipe a 2 year old who is standing up?  Where do you dump the potty "cup" out?  Do you wash it in the sink?  In the shower?  What in hell do we do next?  (It was a What Would Kerry Do moment.  Kerry...I almost called you to ask what happens next!!)

So we cheered, and did a little dance, and I dumped the cup in the toilet and then washed it out in the bathroom sink (on Sean's side).  We got Max cleaned up and put a diaper back on.  Sean may or may not have taken a picture of what Max left in the potty, and may or may not have sent it to a grandparent.  Or two.  For the record, I do not condone that.

We realized later that all of those times that Max was taking his pants off....well, it's possible that he was just telling us he had to go to the bathroom.  Perhaps "Put your pants back on" was not the correct response.  Who knew?  Well, I guess Sean knew.

Anyone know where the hell we go from here????

Frequent Flier

Did you miss us? Well, you're not going to believe this, but we moved. Again.

Hence the sound of crickets chirping over here on the blog.....

But we're back now, and we're better than ever. And we have a huge backyard, and some extra square footage, and a broken heater, and an unexpected power outage. It's not even Irene's fault. That's another story for another time, though. Don't worry...it's coming!

Until then, can I brag a little about Max's amazing plane ride on the way home from San Diego?


I was amazed. Overjoyed. Insanely proud.

Stunned.

Who knew that this little guy

Would be the best traveling companion ever?

We found our groove, Max and I. We talked ourselves calmly through security. Bottles out and in the bin, shoes off, patient directions about being Mommy's helper and staying close.

We have an airplane routine now. Window seat for Max. He yells out the letters he spies on the wing, watches the world float by, sits safely strapped in to his special airplane belt. Bottle when the plane "goes up, up, up", iPad with the "George mooo(movie)", bag of airline pretzels in his lap. I kept a bag of random little toys to surprise him with on the descent, when we had to put the iPad away. Matchbox cars, Barrel of Monkeys, and a small container of colored cotton ball "puffies" that we played hide and find with ("Look, it's in your sock! Your pocket!")

Makes me cocky, actually.

"Don't worry, getting through security is the hardest part" I say over my shoulder, to the new mom who just asked me if she really has to take her 9 week old out of the stroller to go through the metal detector.

"oh no, I got this" I said, as the kind older gentleman offered to fold my stroller at the end of the jetway.

I felt confident, almost LIGHT-hearted about the whole thing. I mean, the kid sat and watched his movie and ate airline pretzels out of a bag for cripes sake....MY KID!

That's our summer vacation folks, and now we're home sweet (new) home. Ummm....where do you think you're going???

Max and Mommy's Grand Adventure

We did it! A week in San Diego, just Max and Mommy, with more than a little help from our amazing family.

It felt like this....

Max snuggled with Baubee, helped Zaydee "work",

and went on his first carousel ride with Aunt Kay-Kay.

He loved every minute of it....

We played with Nana Nancy and Max met sweet Aunt Cindy for the very first time. Uncle Scott and Jo-Jo gave Max lots of tickles and attention, and we walked the boardwalk with my dear friend Anna and her husband Tyler.

San Diego kept Max's attention. There were fountains to splash in...

and drink from (oops!)....

See the hotel poking up in the sky, to Max's right? In my younger days (as in, pre-toddler drinking from the fountain) we used to go for drinks at the bar at the very top of that hotel. Killer view of the bay.

This is San Diego from Max's point of view....

Aren't you wondering who took these brilliant pictures? It's this gorgeous little sister of mine.

Yes, she's DRIVING. Just a few months away from getting her actual, real-life, now-I'm-16 DRIVER'S LICENSE. She's a patient, calm, focused driver. Just like her big sister. Stop laughing. I'm serious. She gets her skills from me. OK, she's a waaay better driver than me. Especially because she can park between the lines.

We love you San Diego!

Tastes Like Home!

Good thing he's not allergic anymore...this little guy devoured Baubee's famous "Smooshed Eggs" for breakfast!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Feels Like Home...

My little guy and I are off on our grand adventure. Shockingly, Max was absolutely amazing on the flight down....While Baubee was at work today, Max and I made our way to some of my favorite old-school hangouts. I have to admit, this is the cutest boy that I've ever had a lunch date with at Cafe 976!

Being home means that I can hear the Sea World fireworks out our window right now. 9:55, on every summer night. Being home means that Max walks around the house yelling "Buh-buh (Baubee)" and "Where Zay(dee) go?" He looks for them around every corner, and can't wait to run to them every morning when we wake up. Being home means that I let Max walk into the bay and toss seashells, because it's beautiful there, and we can. Shhh...locals know it's contaminated and nasty, but you can't stop a toddler who is yelling "Splash! Splash!"

Tori, these are for you my friend....

We've missed you San Diego....

That's What I Said

Big boys eat cupcakes all by themselves. Like this one, that Max devoured while hanging out at our buddy Preston's awesome airplane birthday party...

Big boys also have LOTS to say. Max decided that he didn't want to take a nap yesterday, so as we were driving around (yes, I do that to get him to fall asleep every.damn.day for naps) he started yelling "Go hoooooome!" Which was particularly hysterical considering he has started using two-word sentences oh, just a few days ago. I told him "Mommy is going to get a coffee and then you are going to go night-night". As I'm pulling in to the coffee shop drive-through, Max puts his little hands together and tucks them next to his cheek. And pretends to snore. Pretends, as in, long drawn out "hooooonk, shhhhhh" sounds.

"Max, what are you doing?"

"Night night!" he says, sweetly.....still pretending to snore. We're driving down the main road for the thirtieth time and he is waving to every car that goes by. Then he starts counting. Why? Because it's nap time. "One, two, free, six!" And finally he is yelling "hoooouuuuuuse!" Game over. Max wins.

It's a brave new world now that Max can really communicate with us. Sometimes he makes perfect sense....like the other day when we rubbed noses and I said "nose kiss!" He gave me a big hug, and when our ears pressed together during the hug, he yelled out "ear kiss!" Other times, not so much. When I asked him how he got the owie scratch on his knee at preschool, he answered "Tee (teacher) Zach". Hmmmm. Teacher Zach is the music teacher. "Did you hurt yourself during music?" Max's response? "Five six!" So I tried again later...."Max, what happened to your knee?" This time he looked at me like I was the two year old. "Tee Zach!" he said again. And just as I was starting to think that it might be possible that sweet, gentle Tee Zach pushed him over during music, Max yelled out "'tar!" That would be "guitar" for those of you who don't have a toddler. Ah-hah! If you watched the video below, you will have a good idea of how my son may have injured himself. I'm guessing he was dancing (again, see video below) and crashed into Tee Zach's guitar. A plausible hypothesis if you've seen this child's dance moves.

Big boys like to take their clothes off when they think you're not watching, and run through the house squealing with naked glee as you chase them. Big boys help to throw chopped vegetables in the salad while you're cooking, but take a bite of everything as it goes in (or licks it, or sticks his thumb through it....remember that when we invite you to dinner!) Big boys say "hug Dada" and "kiss Mama", and melt your heart time and again as they show you that they are taking in every ounce, every whisper of this world.