Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Beach living? Apparently it comes with a hazard warning.
And what do we do to entertain ourselves when the inclement weather is beating on our windows and making us go stir-crazy? Well, this, of course!
First we were evacuated when the Tsunami hit Japan. Except we live in California. But someone somewhere thought we could be in danger, and of course, we weren't going to be the nay-sayers who stuck around if the wave really did come. Not when the only thing seperating us from the ocean is a big field and our neighbor's backyard. And then not one, but two local friends called. And they were all leaving. So we spent the whole day over the hill, with about half the population of our coastal town.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
No, really. I'm being serious.
When you call, or text, or email just to say hi. When you invite us places even though you know we might not be able to go. When you send us a birthday party invitation, or stop by my Facebook page to say hello, or ask us on a last-minute playdate to the zoo even though you know we might not be able to get our shit together and go. When you email me to ask if I will co-host something very special for someone very special, and my heart leaps because I am so thrilled that you just KNEW that I wanted to do it but couldn't figure out how. I needed that. And you knew that. You all knew that, because you are all amazing women. THANKS for thinking of us. And really, I mean this from the very bottom of my stressed-out Mom heart.
Max's Baubee likes to say "You have to be a friend to make a friend". I haven't been great at the first part lately. I've been out of touch, terrible about emails, feeling isolated and like no one understands that this is so hard how come I'm the only one with a kid who doesn't sleep I can't go one more night being barfed on how can a boy so amazing be so exhausting this is not what I expected parenthood to be but it is and now I'm used to it and my new normal means that I spend every free second enjoying him/planning allergy-free meals/giving him meds/helping him to get his energy out/singing and dancing/loving his every move and the sound of his tiny voice but at the end of the day I have nothing left. Nothing.
And yet, you still call. You still ask us to go places, even though most of the time we say no. And my heart breaks a little when I think about how one day you might stop asking. Because I haven't always been great at making friends, and yet HOW LUCKY I AM that I have found some wonderful, incredible women who are my dearest and closest friends. What we have built together over the years has become the foundation of who I am. And I thank God for friends like you, because you make me feel like we still exist. And that there will be a day, when Max is feeling better and I am feeling like a normal person, where we will say YES, LET'S PLAY! And I will feel like a better Mom for keeping our friendships going.
Monday, March 14, 2011
I know that our Mommies talk a lot about how neat it is that we're best friends, but I wanted to tell you myself. Now that we're getting big, it really is great to have a buddy who likes to do the same things as me! We're the same size, we say the same words, and we both like being as rascally as possible.
Here we are thinking very deeply about how to get ourselves out of this jam....
Yeah, that's right....just push me a little to the left, and then we can get out of here and go eat some crackers!
Here's where we showed our moms that we know how to do "Cheers"! Just like at The Library, right Aunt Susie????
Saturday, March 12, 2011
But when it's YOUR kid, you finally understand. Because you see, YESTERDAY Max was stringing two words together ("Sit Ma-Ma", "Da-Da Car", and so on). But TODAY, out of the blue, he was sitting in his car seat and I handed him his "Pilot Book". And he said "Read pilot book". Actually it was "Reee Pi Book", but I got it. It was his first three word sentence! Which might be a "Gee that's great" for all of you, but for me, I'm elated. I'm watching his mind change and grow, and it is FASC-INATING.
You see, when Max was a baby, I initiated most of what we did. And now, he dreams it up. Like here, when he took his tiny little cat toy and wanted it to sit down and play with him. Then he told it what to do... (look really closely, it's small!)
And I just stood there and watched. As Max was a master of his own world.
He's VERY into cars right now too. Complete with the "vrroom" sounds...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
In the span of about two seconds I am merging to the side of the road while at the same time turning around to reach into his mouth and grab the cracker with my finger. Except it's really stuck. And he's frantic, and I'm frantic. He panics, because he can't breathe. And I grab the cracker, but it breaks. I am still turned around while I'm pulling off to the shoulder, fishing soggy cracker pieces out as fast as I can, realizing at the same time that some could get pushed further back into his throat if I'm not careful. In that instant I can hear the horror stories from CPR training about parents who are trying to dislodge something from their kids throat and instead push it back further and the kid dies. So I'm "finger-sweeping" his mouth, and the cracker pieces are falling all over the car seat, and then I realize that there is blood everywhere,and that it is coming from his mouth. When the cracker broke and got stuck, I grabbed it forcefully enough that I scraped the roof of his mouth with my fingernail. But his tongue was bleeding too, probably from the hard edge of the cracker. I have no idea. All of this, while still in the front seat, then throwing the emergency brake on as I bolt out of the car, into traffic, and throw open the back door.
Max is breathing, but terrified. He's gagging as I rip him out of his carseat, "It's Ok, It's Ok, It's Ok" I repeat, as I run him past the oncoming cars and over to the other side of the car. I'm rubbing his back as he throws up cracker, formula, and what looks to me like an awful lot of blood.
I will NEVER let him eat in the carseat again.
5 minutes later, he is happily playing in the front seat, pushing all of the buttons on the dashboard, sporting a clean shirt and fresh, diaper-wiped hands and face. I am shaking as I look at his sweet face. All of the do's and don'ts of parenthood, all of the what-if's and close-calls and might have beens. Thankfully Daddy was only a few miles ahead of us, and he circled back and helped us to get ourselves together again.
As I turned the hazard lights off and pulled back into traffic, I looked back at your pouty rosebud lips and your big hazel eyes. You were sucking down some water and your little feet were crossed comfortably in front of you. I had to fight with the thoughts that were flooding my brain....we could have been on the freeway, or driving over the hill with nowhere to pull over. What if the cracker hadn't dislodged? What if I had been in the fast lane? What if, and what if, and what if???
Turns out that the only road home, up and over the big hill, with one way in and one way out, was closed because of an accident. I had to drive all the way up to the City and then back down the coast, an extra hour, to get home. I had 60 minutes to think, to look at your soft cheeks in the rearview mirror, and to remind myself that being a mom means that (most of the time at least), I know exactly what to do.
Then I thanked God for being with us, and thanked you for being mine.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
After a few nights of me sleeping better, my mom got a little inspired and planned a last minute V-Day playdate for some of my neighbor friends. I was so excited about celebrating a day that was all about love....I wore this very special shirt to honor the occasion!