Womb Update

Thanks to the Internet, here is the update that I received by email this morning. Anything in capital letters would be my own snide comments:

Fetal development in pregnancy week 8: You've got one whole inch of baby inside of you! Your little embryo has finally reached the one-inch mark (30mm). And if it were possible to take a peek, you could actually see your tiny baby without a telescope! What’s more, your baby is finally starting to take on some very distinct human features. For starters, their little tail (really just the spinal cord) has disappeared completely. It’s nice to know your baby can no longer be mistaken for a sea creature! Additionally, both their toes and fingers are prominent with very little, if any, webbing. Upper and lower limbs all show recognizable joints (elbows and knees) and the lower limb bones are starting to ossify. But don’t expect your baby to resemble either parent quite yet. Right now, your baby’s head is disproportionately larger than the rest of their body SEAN WOULD SAY THAT THIS MEANS BABY DIRECTLY RESEMBLES ME--making up almost half of your little one’s height and weight!


And how's mom doing? Your slightly-larger-than-a-cherry embryo is also starting to have a physical impact on you this week—and not just hormonally, as you may be noticing a slight bulge at your midline THANK GOD I'M NOT IMAGINING THINGS. COULD I BE THE FIRST PREGNANT WOMAN EVER WHO WANTS TO RUN OUT AND BUY ELASTIC WAISTBANDS NOW??-- mostly from water retention AWW DAMN! THAT'S IT?. Most people won't even notice the subtle change to your belly's shape ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE DISTRACTED BY MY ENORMOUS STRIPPER-BOOBS...HORMONES, ANYONE??, but if you have been extra moody lately UMM...SEE PREVIOUS CORN-DOG POST, that may start to subside this week, as the placenta is beginning to take responsibility for your baby’s hormone production. This means your body will soon be able to relax a bit from its over-production of hormones as the placenta starts to regulate your baby’s hormones-- allowing your body to focus on producing more normal levels of hormones for yourself. I MEAN REALLY PEOPLE, WHAT IS NORMAL??